Hello From the Other Side (of the ocean)

"I pushed you farther away, I only had the strength to get so close."
-Ghost Town Cinemas (you should totally check them out)

The first thing that this lyric brings to mind is relationships, of course. Now I'm finding it relates just as well to "getting close" to a new culture. I found myself wondering about whether I really want to get too close to Spain. It seems like that will only end sadly, as someday I will be leaving. Why get attached to this place when I know my departure date already?

That's how it is with pretty much everything, I've found. With my hometown, with my college home, and with any friend that comes into my life. Is it worth getting involved...?

The thing is, I won't just be leaving- I'll be staying too. Investing in good high school friends was worth the cost because I was in high school. It's passed tense but it was real and whole and good! I was home for a time. Soon I will say 'I was in college', but truthfully:

'He has made everything beautiful in it's time.'
Ecclesiastes

I seem to find this short verse playing in my mind at the begining of every hard thing and the end of every good thing.

And I've come to see that there are good things that end. So here I am, in southern Spain. Eating way too much (at the insistence of my host mom), exploring every day, and sleeping surprisingly well. And totally confusing English and Spanish...es dificil to speak in Spanish and then send a text without starting out in Spanish before realizing 'oh yeah...my mom doesn't speak Spanish!'

Back to the sleeping thing-I really didn't experience jet lag. I've slept the whole night through for three nights now (thank you, Lord!), though the nights have been full of dreams. I find that when I am in a new place, I dream about the last "newer" place. Por ejemplo, when I went to Honduras last summer I dreamt most often about State College. Now I am in Spain dreaming about the people in Honduras. Maybe this is in part because we (tried to) speak Spanish there and many words here remind me of that trip. In any manner, it is interesting to be here during the day and to be in "other places" throughout the night in my dreams!

- - - - - - - - - - - 

Here's a random story concerning the flight I was so fearful of...On the plane I sat beside this guy who I thought was around my age. So, I stroke up conversation.

"Are you studying abroad too?" I asked.
"How hold do you think I am?", he responded. Quite surprised.
"Um...now that I'm talking to you...25?"
"No, I'm 29. I'm actually going to Spain because I'm in the navy and I'll be doing some work there on a ship."
"Oh..oh. That's really cool. Do you like to fly? I really don't..." 
"Yeah, I don't mind it. Are you afraid of heights?" And I responded, "yes, but more so the ocean."
"You're lucky- I can swim", he said lightheartedly. 
"Haha, I can too. But thanks!" And I immediately regret sounding so unthankful for his encouragement...
"You should relax... I'd fight a shark for you."
I fell asleep after a couple minutes of conversation and I slept until he tapped me on the shoulder to say that we were about to land. I'll just say that I felt really safe on that flight. 

- - - - - - - - - - -

During our first day of orientation, one of the staff members said this:

'We go to the library to study and then to the cafe to drink coffee...not to study. When we do something, we do it fully. And then the next thing.'

She was drawing a contrast with American culture, but I am trying desperately to apply this to my time here. To live here fully and then to return to the United States and live fully there. It's sad to live in another time and place, not really experiencing the life you've been given for this season.

Again that verse comes to mind. Everything is beautiful in its time because He has made it that way. 
Food for thought.
And speaking of food, my host mom will probably soon knock on my door to ask (for the fourth or fifth time) if I am sure I don't want to eat anything more! 

Last thing: we hiked up this neighborhood in the arab side of the city to see La Alhambra and the view actually put tears in my eyes. 

¡Hasta pronto!

My Harbor

November 29, 2015

He made the storm be still,

and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet,and he brought them to their desired haven. {Ps. 107}

Today I am reporting from the kitchen table. It’s less than exciting, and altogether peaceful. 

You know that feeling of coming home? Maybe it’s not to your actually “home” home. Maybe it’s a good friend’s house or even just a good friend. I think it is in Sleepless in Seattle that this feeling is put in words: “It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known.” After coming to college, I waited quite a while before I ever felt like a trip back to State College was a trip “home”. I often wonder how long it will take to consider Granada “home”.

I digress.

This kitchen table, although it has changed since I was a wee thing, feels like home. Around this table I have eaten countless meals with my family, the members changing as my siblings moved out and some who needed a home moved in. I’ve decorated many a Christmas cookie here with Meemaw by my side. I probably wrote my first word at this table. If I had a snapshot of all the times I have sat down at this table, well… I’d have a lot of snapshots. 

A lot of memories. 

But right now, as I wait to travel back to school, I’m content to sit alone at this table with my cup of orange spice tea, the psalms, and my journal. (Emphasis on alone because this is something I am now just beginning to savor) I’m content to reminisce on the seasons of my life that this table “saw me through”. I’m excited to sit at this table for the last time before I take a step out of that door directly across from me-the first step to Spain. 

Okay, actually that thought made my stomach twist just a tiny bit with nerves.

As I get up from the table this time, I’ll grab a few last things and head out on another adventure. This table, it’s like a harbor. That quote comes to mind… 

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.”

I guess it’s time for this ship to sail to Penn State one last time this semester. (sail cat, anyone?) I can remember the night before I left for college, sitting at this table with a box of tissues and just weeping. I was so fearful, so distraught to leave. This time I’ll get up without much of a second thought, ready for this trip I’ve now made a dozen times. But this table will be here. 

My harbor. 

And, to continue with the sailing theme, this song has resurfaced in my life and feels fitting for this season:

Anchor-John Tibbs

(This is from a sample I wrote for an application, and decided to use for practice to get used to this whole blogging thing...sorry State College friends- I know it sounds like I'm coming back before I leave for Spain but I wrote this the last day of Thanksgiving break)