a HOPEful commencement

Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the day and especially the night. ~ A Knight's Tale

This summer, I will be reviving this little old blog that I originally began in order to share my adventures of Spain.

I have been thinking on what to focus on in this first post as I am at the Leadership Summit for HOPE International, and mulling over quite a few things. 

Then there was a session that spoke right to me and may also mean something to you. 

We talked about busyness and how Jesus himself would withdraw to be alone and pray. It so amazes me, that in Luke 5 Jesus, with many people coming to him for healing, draws away to be with the Father. 

Even He delegated his work, entrusting the gospel ministry to the disciples. And He told them not to rejoice in the success they had in that work. He said, 'However do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.

What would Jesus, in Luke 10:20, say to me?


Do not rejoice that _______ , but rejoice that your names are written in heaven. 


I am very convicted over this. Even the work I do that may have a lasting impact should not provide the basis of my self worth nor my joy. 

It is my identity as one redeemed by Jesus that gives me joy. 

For me, that blank could be filled in with 'Do not rejoice that you helped a friend come away from suicide, but rejoice that your name is written in heaven'. 


What a hard lesson in humility!

And what a good thing to celebrate. Life? Surely I can be glad to know my friend is safe. I cannot say how thankful I am for the strong fights several of my friends have fought against depression. 

But being a help for them is not, ultimately, my value. In the same vein, having a friend who did commit suicide does not mean that I did not do enough or that I am somehow less. 

I rejoice that God has given me His son's life for mine. 

Jesus is a good shepherd. And the good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep (John 10). 

Nothing else will lay down its life for me. The things I store up to make my own name great, the things I have accomplished, any idols- they actually demand my life.

Only He can save me and establish a good purpose for me. Honestly, over the last few days I have been struggling again with thoughts that reflect the existential crises I used to frequently undergo.  

But what if my default position was looking to my King's goodness instead of my own.

(And there is nothing good in me apart from Him) 

During the morning session we talked about Psalm 118, which begins and ends with 'Give thanks to the Lord for He is good'. I wish that was the default beginning and end of my day. 

The President of HOPE, Peter Greer, encouraged us to start and end each day thinking on a verse. So this morning, instead of turning off my alarm and checking Facebook I opened my nifty little ESV app. I came to the verse [[ Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we might rejoice and be glad all our days ]].

I got to reflect on that (instead of 
on how many people liked my last blog post) while getting ready for the day. AND, it was in itself an encouragement to keep going, since it claims that in the steadfast love of our God alone are we satisfied- and in the morning! 

That chapter of Psalms goes on to plea 'establish the work of our hands upon us'. That has become my prayer today to the Lord, to establish the work He has for me to do.   

And He has given me really good gifts in these last few days! The fellow interns I have been meeting are so kind, the people here helped me work out housing so I do not need to commute this week that is full of all-day activities, and one of the interns will actually be studying in Granada next spring! 

The family of another intern is from Chile, and she brought Mate- a traditional South American that you share as you hang out and talk. So fun!

Today we had our first day in the office and I will be sharing a little cubicle (that is about to be covered in pictures and quotes...) with that intern whose family is from Chile. I have tentatively decided it will be a Spanish-only zone. 

Eager to see what the Lord has for us this summer!


 

What Makes Life Rich

These are the things that make life rich.

After receiving particularly hard news, I asked my pastor's wife if we could get together and talk, since my parents and best friend were out of town. I wasn't sure who else to talk to. 

She answered my long bemoaning with the above quote, and I could not be more thankful for these words.

I was, at first, shocked. I didn't understand and I didn't want to try to understand. I knew she couldn't simply be invalidating my pain but it didn't really seem like the sympathy or advice I was expecting.

Over time, though, and little by little, these words came to mean something. The truth has only grown in my mind with every hard thing: the Lord uses pain for good. He uses disappointment to turn us once more to him, and to test our faith in His goodness. 

So sometimes I just write down that sentence when I am feeling frustrated. These are the things that make life rich. 

But recently, I've again been confronted with the shocking nature of these words. God is blessing me with a hardship? 

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? [Matthew 7:9]

Somehow, I've come to know that I will eventually see each 'stone' in that situation as a loaf of bread- a feast even. 

The transition back from living abroad has taken a different form than I expected. For starters, I didn't expect to struggle much in the process of entering back into former friendships. I never thought I would struggle to get back into the 'rhythm' of U.S. university.  I didn't know I would struggle in integrating back into my family. 

Spain offered a wealth of free time for spontaneous hikes, blogging, trying knew cafes. Even the long walks to class or choir provided up to an hour of just me and my thoughts. 

A lot of freedom.

While I've struggled with giving that up, I also marvel at the grace of God to use it to grow my desire to be alone and quiet before Him.

Recently, I was talking to a friend who talked of the grace of God as His hand at work.  He was saying that he has seen God's hand at work so much in the past couple years. 

Thinking of different experiences of grace as the work He is doing by His own hand...

He loved to reflect on the fact that grace was never singular in its effects. - Home by Marilynne Robinson

I am just starting an internship with HOPE International, and I think I will start blogging more regularly again. 

I am eager to see how He will use this (as anything) to make life rich, and I see His hand at work already in little blessings. I'll share more of those soon!