Beautiful in its time

He has made everything beautiful in its time.         Ecclesiastes 3

Sometimes it seems that things just really can't be beautiful, but all things will be made beautiful at some point.

The pigeons here were nothing special until a couple days ago, when I realized the color of the feathers on their necks are exceptionally pretty. I didn't really mean to talk about pigeons when I chose the verse for this post, but I figured I could squeeze it in here. You should look more closely at the next pigeon you see.

It has been dawning on me these last days that I won't be getting fluent overnight. Struggling through conversation to get what I mean to say out there can be exhausting, but I know at some point I'll look back on this time as 'vale la pena'//worth the pain. 

Also, in addition to being vale la pena (now you know a Spanish phrase!), it is totally fun. I have a friend here named Molly and we've been trying to translate phrases like YOLO (you only live once). Well it doesn't work so well...solo vives una vez: SVUV.

But it's fun anyway. And for those of you who know a little Spanish, my friend Brady and I came up with matándolo, for "killin' it".

So that's all pretty sweet. 

Classes have begun. It seems like they will all be interesting: modern Spanish theater, Islamic Civilization in Spain and Northern Europe, economics of the European Union, and so on. All in Spanish! 

Today we played (I watched) soccer in the rain and afterward Molly and I went for ice-cream to celebrate a successful first week of classes. By the time we got ice cream, at Burger King, we were really just celebrating that we finally found ice cream. It seems like the things you think about getting (slippers, ice cream, stamps) are everywhere...until you decide it's time to get those things. Then they magically disappear.

Never fear, though. Burger King came in for the win. And just so you get the idea of how joyous an occasion it was to eat ice cream, here's a picture:

Here's a fun fact: Molly reminds me a lot of my good friend Kaitlin Gibbs. Same curly hair, fun loving nature, taller than me, etc. Found out they have the same birthday too! That's pretty neat.

Recently I was brought to this passage in Hebrews about treating hardship as discipline because, though it isn't pleasant at the time, it produces a harvest of peace for those who have been trained by it. It's no secret that I've been single this last year, and recently it's been a little hard to see couples together-especially when I feel 'alone' in a city full of people. 

Still, I have found that- especially here- I feel so at peace when I am by myself because I feel that even then I am not alone. Christ prayed alone in the garden; Christ died alone on the cross. I never am alone because of His company, encouraging me with the scripture He brings to my mind and blessing me with friendships and a wonderful host family. 

//All of my memories are of beauty now//The beauty of light, pourin’ into every room of this house//Shining all the darkness out//A light has come to this house that crumbled to the ground//And the morning shows there's still hope//

-What the Morning Shows(Dust of Men)

First Little Storm

As for me, I am poor and needy, 
          but the Lord takes thought for me.
                                   Psalms 40

I think I have the best family in all of Spain. 

My host mom goes by Paqui and my host sister is Yani. They are always concerned that I am cold or hungry or something- it's like I'm ten years old because I don't speak Spanish fluently. 
You know when you meet someone who can't speak English and, though you wish it weren't this way, you immediately feel that they are less intelligent? I think my family treats me like a little kid sometimes but honestly I just take it as honest concern. I really do feel loved by them.

Last night they took me to the restaurant where Joaquin, my host brother, works. He brought out plate after plate and I think in the end we tried 12 different dishes. Good thing we walk a lot.

Also my host father, Juan, has a really adorable sense of humor. He just asked me permission to read what I'm writing, and then laughed because he doesn't know english.

They have included me as one of their own, calling me sister from the beginning. My first weekend, Paqui and Yani brought me to a park to take pictures and show my mom that "you are content here in Spain!"

Last week my host mom told me that they had another daughter who passed away in an accident, and it was remarkable that she shared something so painful with me. The daughter's birthday is coming up  next week and as it will be an especially hard day for my host family, please pray for them!

Even with a welcoming host family, I have finally begun to realize the difficulty of adjusting to a new life. Now I have dreams every night that leave me disturbed and thinking of the past. This, along with the stress of deciding travel plans for the semester, left me at my first "low point" last week. 

To be totally honest with you, I sat at my desk and cried for like 5 minutes. 

But then I texted some friends to ask for prayer and Heather, a friend from Penn State, pointed me to Psalm 40. I also read on in Romans and the section I was on consists mostly of Paul explaining his desire to see those he loved. I was comforted to think that even Paul felt what I feel. 

So over the last several days, the Lord has been reminding me that I have no control over the future and He knows every part of it. 

And now some things are coming together. 

My german Hanna is coming at the end of this month to see me...that's only like two weeks! I won't even try to put into words how excited I am to see her.

The Lord is using even the littlest things to tell me "it's going to be ok". 

Like, I'll be sitting here after lunch thinking 'I could really go for some fruit' and yet I'm so full, and don't feel it is worth asking. And then my mom comes from the kitchen with some bananas and asks me if I want some fruit.

Another example: when I began this post, I was sitting in my room. I thought about coming out to the family room but thought my typing might bother them, so I gave up on the idea while still feeling a little lonely. 
Immediately Paqui yells down the hall 'Megan?'. She went on to say I could come out if I felt like it, and that it's better to be together than working alone in my room.

Also today I found a church! I love the Catholic churches here, but it was wonderful to worship with other believers in the way I have all my life (except in Spanish of course). 

Speaking of Catholic churches, I just got back from a short trip to Sevilla. We visited a palace and cathedral that both date back to the muslim rule in Spain, when they were actually a palace and mosque that have since been built on and added to.

A couple years ago someone told me that Catholic churches are so grand because there is a desire to redeem even space- that we can glorify God by recovering (in a tiny way) the beauty of creation before the fall. 
At the time, I was really against the idea and arguing that it is a waste of money that could be used otherwise-to help the poor, fund some charity, etc. 

But I can't complain now, having seen some of these glorious designs and feeling as though it really is a small taste of paradise. 

And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. Revelations

- - - - - - - - - - 

Another beautiful experience from the trip to Sevilla was experiencing Flamenco. I had seen a short video of it once, but I did not like it. I thought the music was a little weird and the dance even more so. In person though, I was quite in awe. The dancing and the music were one- each a manifestation of the other. So passionate and full.

Well that's all for now. Classes start tomorrow and I'm so excited for a routine... However, that will probably also mean a little less free time and maybe less writing. So, here's to a new semester!

The law of harvest: we reap what we sow

'I believe that the goodness of any event can be squeezed out by God to teach me more about the beauty of life and my relationship with him because I am looking for Him to do it.'

-Mr. Dickinson(wise middle school teacher)in response to Romans 8:28

Optimism has been resurfacing in my life.

In seventh grade, some friends and I wrote these speeches that had to begin with "to me, optimism is..." After that speech contest, it become something very central who I was- to myself and I think to other people (though you are free to disagree).

I feel the anxieties and paranoias of the "teenage years" and all my first world problems swallowed up the optimism I once exhibited. 

Yet when I had to say goodbye to a good friend before leaving for Spain, I had a moment of optimism. He said "it's going to be like eight months" and I responded, "you know, that's just a little over half a year...and only a couple months more than it would've been had I decided to stay".

This probably seems like such a normal response, and sure, it wasn't something super different from what I would've answered- still it reminded me of that hope that I had found in optimism and seeing good instead of bad. So simple. 

Here, I've been told, I'll be stripped of my identity as I adjust to Spanish life and change, according to all that I am learning and experiencing. But I know that as this happens, still I will have the Lord. I don't know if this is optimism really, but I thought it kind of went together.

~Also, on that note, forgive me if any of these thoughts don't really follow each other. I'm sitting with my Spanish family and it's hard to concentrate in English with a movie in Spanish and them speaking to me every couple minutes in Spanish!~

One of the orientation leaders said "when language stops working, you can't communicate, and then you can't project who you are, and you begin to lose your image". (attempted translation)

I think most students were falling asleep during that presentation but I was the nerd taking notes. All that she was saying reminded me of the Lord and the great contrast between what we experience here and His character:

'Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.' Hebrews 13

How different this world and people are! Everything is changing for me: language, friends, even family (I mean, my family is still my family but I have a new family for the semester). Some things about myself are changing too. A small example: I am so much quieter here. Maybe that's because it's a little humiliating when you speak and don't make sense, especially with people behind counters.

Also when it takes you 15 minutes to figure out how to turn on the shower.

Also when you are so sure of what you're saying and then it means something totally different, like the words "hunt" and "marry" are SO similar..

So here's to sowing hope and reaping hope. Sowing peace and reaping peace. Sowing love and reaping love. Sounds cheesy right? 

Sounded cooler in Spanish, but to quote another orientation leader:

"Enjoy this place inside of love. This is one thing that unifies us instead of separating us."