Meaning

Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? Leo Tolstoy

I've definitely begun to love this place. The orange tree, the free tapas with a drink, really expressive people, beautiful buildings, all the scarves to be bought.

I've only bought one scarf so far though...proud of me? It has been a trial. It is something I'll have to take control of because there are little stands selling scarves everywhere! 

The other thing I really have to keep myself from buying: mugs. Every cute mug catches my eye and whispers to me "come on, you could use one more mug...another pen holder...what about your toothbrush?"

But again, so far I've bought only one. 

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My host mom told me last night that it was pretty last minute that they joined the program. She said that I was already placed with another family but when her friend recommended this home, the program switched me over because they didn't feel as good about the other family. I find it amazing that the groups were already made and somehow I was switched over to this wonderful family. I prayed for my host family so much last semester, often feeling very fearful and emotional. Sometimes the Lord answers prayers so clearly. 

And other times, not so much. I'm still being subjected to lots of dreams. To be totally honest, it's been one of the worst things about being here so far. So I'm still praying that I could rest well and waiting for that to happen, or for the Lord to show me some "why" so that I can learn something from this.

So I've been brought back to this verse many times: The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed I have a pleasant inheritance. Psalm 16 

I'm being reminded that I have a beautiful inheritance here, and one to look forward to. Of all the things I want to learn here, one of the highest on the list is to feel like a "stranger in a distant land". Most people don't go abroad wanting to feel out of place, but this experience has served as a reminder that, like those in Hebrews 11, I am waiting for a better country.

I was flipping through a stack of letters from friends and family to read over this semester and my eyes fell on "for the plane home" from Hanna. Tears quickly filled my eyes as I thought about that moment when I will see my parents again, when I will walk into my house, when I will hug my nephew! And then almost immediately I thought of Christ and the hope I should be holding onto every day of my life. It's good to look forward to things.

...set your heart on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things about, not on earthly things. Colossians 3

And now I have a few more things to look forward to!

In a week Hanna will be coming HERE and then about a month later I'll be heading off to Germany to see Anna! 

There are always the everyday things to look forward to as well. Lunch, for one. 

My host mom taught me how to cook migas the other day. Guess what it's made of? Bread. Sometimes I think that all I eat here is different forms of bread.

And then there's siesta, and el Gran Hotel. And occasional face timing with friends. And the sunshine. 

Finally after a week straight of rain, the sun came out. I know, I know...nothing like the weather you're all dealing with. But I didn't realize how much the cloudy skies affected my mood until the sun came out.               

 You are light after darkness

gain after loss

strength after weakness

crowned after cross

sweet after bitter

hope after fears

home after wandering

praise after tears

sheaves after sowing

sun after rain

slight after mystery

peace after pain

joy after sorrow

calm after blast

rest after weariness

sweet rest at last.