Sometimes I love a good King James version Bible verse or a good old hymn. My favorite hymn, Blessed Assurance, was lingering in my mind the other day. I'm eager to sing, be it hymns or contemporary worship songs, with brothers and sisters when I get home. The last three Sundays have involved day trips or even longer trips (like Morocco, Alhamd lilac), and have left me with a almost a whole month with no community fellowship.
I've gotten to hang out with Christian friends, but I must say I really miss corporate singing. So last night in our choir rehearsal I started writing out the translation to the Latin Mass and sang it as worship. From the 'Credo' text of confirming what I believe to the Agnus Dei, repeating 'He who takes away the sins of the world, give us peace'. I felt new.
While walking the now familiar streets home I was thinking about the truth, 'the Lord gives, the Lord takes away'. And in my mind I switched the order, 'the Lord takes away, the Lord gives'. I believe He gives things and then takes them away, but I rest even more in thinking on the times he has taken away and then given- given me something better.
For example, my host family. I'm not saying they're better than my actual family (don't worry Mom). But it has been better, in His own way, to come into a new family for a time.
I thought I wasn't all about being independent because I never felt the need to get away from my parents or start my own life. I've realized here that actually I never feel the need to independecise (I know that's not a verb, but it is in Spanish...) because my parents have left me pretty free to do my own thing.
My host mom, a little less so. I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard 'Eat, eat'. And I say something like No, I'm okay. So she insists. So I explain that I am really full...Llenísima. So she asks if I want some more of whatever we have been eating, and I say no. So she tries to serve me some more and once in a while I actually stand up for my overfull belly and say No, really, no. So brings me some fruit.
In the end, it's a little thing. I'm thankful for her care and concern. It made me feel really secure when, at the beginning, I was quite terrified to so far from all that is familiar. But it may be nice to go back to my own family where I'm actually 20 years old, haha.
Age is another huge difference between Spain and America. Here, it's quite common for kids to live with their parents into their mid thirties or even longer. My host sister is 30, with her own career and her own part in her father's business, and there is no pressure for her to move out or get married. When I told my host mom that Jeremy moved out at 22 cause he felt like that was enough time to be living at home, she looked as though I said in America we eat our dogs (sorry that was just the first shocking thing that came to mind...). She said she hopes/expects Joaquin to live at home for five to ten more years.
Wow.
She and my host dad are really adorable, too. We were talking about my nephew and how I'm thinking about getting him a little soccer jersey from one of the soccer teams and I asked if Messi is the best. (context for those who don't know- Messi plays for Barcelona and Rinaldo for Madrid) My mom said yes, chuckled, looked at my dad, and confirmed her answer. Then she probed. 'He's the best, right?'. My host dad looked at me, her, chuckled...'Yeah...after Rinaldo'. They laugh and look at each other, and my heart melts a little.
On Monday my host mom and I walked to a neighboring town where they have one of their stores, something they've never done before. They gave me a wind chime to put on my porch 'so that you'll remember us'. As if there was any way that was't going to happen.
Okay, I know, I have a bad memory... but still.
So three weeks from tomorrow my own parents (and Jeremy!) land in this temporary home of mine. In fact, I just bought my bus ticket to go meet them at the airport. The thought brings me to tears, but so does the thought of saying goodbye to this second family the Lord has blessed me with. I think they embody this quote really well, or maybe what it is really saying is the better way: If you want to live a comfortable life, make sure you never love nobody, be selfish, and never sacrifice.
Also this hardly relates (well maybe to my last post) but since it's been on my mind today I thought I'd share it for anyone who is struggling with forgiveness. Don't we all?
Losing, Tenth Avenue North
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