Astonished at the world and yet at home in it

I have often had a fancy for writing a romance about an English yachtsman who slightly miscalculated his course and discovered England under the impression that it was a new island in the South seas...his mistake was really a most enviable mistake...what could be more delightful than to have in the same few minutes all the fascinating terrors of going abroad combined with all the humane security of comong home again?...This at least seems to me the main problem for philosphers...How can we strive to be at once astonished at the world and yet at home in it?
Orthodoxy

Last week I felt quite at home. The most at home I've felt in two months. I did not expect a walk to bring such unimaginable peace but I happened to find a park with lots and lots of grass and big trees and flowers and a little river. I felt like I had been picked up and set down at the Hummel nature trail right in my home town, and it brought me near to tears. 

Maybe a little dramatic, but totally honest.

I felt more or less what Spurgeon is getting at in this excerpt- at home and yet astonished. When I read this part of Orthodoxy I was getting ready to set sail for Europe and I loved the idea of accidentally landing in Pennsylvania again, even though I knew that was totally unrealistic.

And finding this park was slightly like he describes 'in the same few minutes all the fascinating terrors of going abroad combined with all the humane security of coming home again'. 

Okay, well, the park had no terrors. Finding it wasn't fear inducing at all in the way traveling is but that was a part of getting to the park...before walking from my room to the park I had taken a taxi, bus, train, plane, bus, car ride(shout out to my friend Hanna's family for picking me up and housing me a night!), train, and bus to get to the room. And it all brought me to this little patch of home.

Anna and I also got to travel to the town her grandma is from: Lohr. It was so special to be in a small town and just walk around together and meet some of her family and eat good  German food.

This trip could not have come at a better time. 

Being away made coming back to Granada feel like home and Spanish like something I can handle. 

In light of the Brussels attack I was a little fearful to travel back to Granada, and yet I felt wholly protected since I could've been in that area and wasn't. I've been considering the evil so many are facing and many recent dreams I've been having about war, and the reality of the spiritual war around us, and all the physical evil that it manifests. Lots of thoughts.

I'm reminded of the quote He loves us to well to let us suffer a single needless pang from All of Grace. I wrote a bit on this concept in my last post where I explained the title of this blog and the pangs that I felt before were needless but now see as grace. I'm praying for an attitude of hope and trust that none of this is needless, or that is to say, I'm praying that there are good things to come from all of this.

I firmly believe the Lord can use whatever, even evil, to bring glory to himself. Even just his comfort to us, reminding us that he is sufficient. 

Blessed be the Lord who daily bears us up. Psalm 69:19

It was a little sad to be traveling on Easter Sunday, away from my family and even my second family. It didn't feel much like a holiday. But it did give me lots of time to think about the cross. I was brought back to this quote, which maybe relates to the Brussels attack:

God can use any injustice for good: Jesus is in glory with scars.

Every time I feel like I've suffered some sort of injustice, this idea comes back to me. Today I got a response back on an online homework I submitted. Translated, it says 'this has nothing to do, even remotely, with what we've talked about in class'. Okay, what? I've been in class, I know what we've talked about, and I know this related. How can you even talk to me like that?

And there it is again: any injustice for good. This is a small injustice-miniscule. So freaking small. Next week I won't even remember it. (the blessings of a bad memory) 

I have the opportunity to 'think on things above' (Colossians 3). On the bus ride home yesterday these lyrics stood out to me as I was just trying not to think about the 4 hours I had left before arriving in Granada: We all surrender like slaves, but sin is death, he is life. We all surrender like slaves but one kills, one saves. 

Thank you Lord for a whole day of traveling with just you on Easter, and for bringing me 'home' safely.